Friday, September 20, 2013

NFL Week 3 Picks

Last week: 14-2
Last night: 1-0
Season record: 26-7

Houston at Baltimore--I hope the folks in Baltimore are happy that they now have two Lombardi trophies, because they may be in for a drought now that half the team has bolted.  One of those who bolted, one Ed Reed, returns to face his former team.  Giddy up.  Texans 23, Ravens 17

NY Giants at Carolina--The Giants are now two years removed from their latest miracle championship run.  And they look BAD.  You can only shoot yourselves in the foot so many times before that foot just falls off.  But their opponent this week is also not very good.  Panthers 19, Giants 16

Detroit at Washington--It's bleak in DC yet let's face it, there is a good chance every NFC East team could be 1-2 after Sunday.  And you just know RG3 is going to turn things around at some point.  Just make sure to triple team Mr. Suh on Sunday.  Redskins 27, Lions 24

San Diego at Tennessee--Dear Antonio Gates....stop f--king with me.  I draft you, put you in my lineup, you do nothing.  I bench you, you put up 100 yards.  You play against me, you kill me.  You only suck when you are on my team and in my lineup.  Chargers 24, Titans 20

Arizona at New Orleans--Scale of 1 to 10, how happy is Drew Brees that his Daddy Payton is back?  15?   Saints 37, Cards 20

Tampa Bay at New England--The "tick tock" of Greg Schiano's firing timer is getting loud.  It's okay to act like a douche if you win, but losing douches...nobody likey.  Patriots 21, Bucs 10

Green Bay at Cincinnati--Quietly this is looking like one of the best games of the week.  The Pack's offense against the Bengals' D.  But don't sleep on Andy Dalton and AJ Green and some dude named Giovanni von Parmegiano.  Or something.  Bengals 26, Packers 24

St. Louis at Dallas--The Rams actually look competitive, something we are not used to seeing since, you know, the days of Kurt Warner.  I think Jeff Fisher is maybe the most under-appreciated coaches of all time.  And I'd love to see him knock the 'Boys down a peg in the Jerry World.  Cowboys 19, Rams 16

Cleveland at Minnesota--If that move of trading Trent Richardson wasn't a blatant attempt to get the top pick in the draft in 2014, I don't know what is.  And the Vikings will be happy to help them get there in their home opener.  Vikings 27, Browns 7

Atlanta at Miami--I wonder what Michael Turner is doing these days.  He should probably keep his phone handy.  Falcons 20, Dolphins 17

Buffalo at NY Jets--Seriously, where did this EJ Manuel kid come from?  I have a lot of friends that are Jets fans, and they are eternally miserable.  But that goes for Bills' fans too.  And I just don't trust Geno Smith to not throw four interceptions, and I don't trust the Jets' D to stop EJ and Stevie and CJ.
Bills 28, Jets 16

Indianapolis at San Francisco--Yowza, this is an interesting match up.  Jim Harbaugh is about to face his young protege from Stanford in Andrew Luck.  And he's going to throw a pretty good defense at him.  Trent Richardson will play.  Kaepernick and Anquan may return to Week 1 glory.  Niners 34, Colts 17

Jaguars at Seahawks--Remember that video of Randy Johnson throwing a 100 mph fastball and a poor bird getting in its path and basically disintegrating upon impact?  The Seahawks are Johnson and the Jags are the bird.  Seahawks 41, Jaguars 3

Chicago at Pittsburgh--I saw the Steelers' offense on a milk carton the other day.  I seriously hope they have the Jaguars on their schedule this year or they may fight the Browns for that top pick. Okay, so maybe let's not get carried away.  I think they actually find a way to win this one.  Steelers 20, Bears 14

Oakland at Denver--Denver is averaging 45 points a game.  Peyton Manning will not throw for 7 touchdowns this time, but maybe 5.  Broncos 35, Raiders 10






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