NFL Picks--Wildcard Weekend

Last week: 13-3
Season record: 163-81

Wow....that season flew by and now it's Wild Card Weekend.  And unlike other seasons, there are some extremely interesting matchups--like, every game is interesting.  So let's have at it...

Kansas City at Indianapolis--If you are a Chiefs' fan, you can't possibly feel confident heading into January.  Your team finished 2-14 last year, and started 2013 by winning nine straight, only to lose five out of seven.  Those five losses included two defeats at the hands of top seed Denver and one to this same Indianapolis squad last week.  Of course, even while resting key starters yesterday, the Chiefs almost upset the now-playoff-bound Chargers.  The Colts clinched their division weeks ago but they have been rounding into playoff form of late.  And who wouldn't want to see the Colts play Denver in the divisional round?  But you know what?  I have a feeling the Chiefs will find a way.  Chiefs 26, Colts 24

New Orleans at Philadelphia--The Eagles won the NFC East in the 11th hour, and their "reward" is facing the explosive Saints.  Luckily for Philly, this contest is at home, where it won't be climate controlled the way Drew Brees and his team likes it.  But if the Saints have Super Bowl aspirations, they had better use this as a test to see if they can handle Old Man Winter in the Northeast.  Eagles 30, Saints 27

San Diego at Cincinnati--If not for Ryan Succop missing that field goal at the end of regulation in San Diego, the Steelers would be facing their division rival here instead of the Chargers.  Thankfully we're spared a third straight Houston vs. Cincinnati wild card game, even though this is the least intriguing game of the weekend.  Bengals 24, Chargers 14

San Francisco at Green Bay--How much magic does Aaron Rodgers have left?  And can the Niners take their red hot show on the road to frigid Lambeau Field and escape with a win?  Sure, San Fran has had their way with the Pack lately, but there is no way Rodgers' feel good story doesn't continue.
Packers 38, Niners 35

NFL Picks: Week 17

Last week: 10-6
Season record: 150-78

Well, here we are.  The final countdown of the 2013 season, and it reeks of sadness.  But wait, it also reeks of excitement, because while we've had a pretty awesome NFL December, Week 17 features something like thirteen games out of sixteen with playoff implications.  That just doesn't happen every day.  And for all the crap we've flung like monkeys on laxatives at Roger Goodell, pitting division rivals against each other to decide divisions in Week 17?  Brilliant.  Which is why the NFC East and North features two incredible games that are essentially playoff games--no matter how bad those divisions have been.  Okay, with that, let's pick 'em!

NY Jets at Miami--Rex Ryan said publicly he knows he's getting canned.  Which makes it hilarious that he has his team playing hard and vying for a .500 record, almost to piss off his bosses and make them look bad when they hand him that pink slip.  Right after he muddies the AFC playoff picture some more by beating the Dolphins.  Jets 16, Dolphins 13

Houston at Tennessee--Ah, one of the three games that means squat.  Let's see if we can figure out the other two.  Meanwhile, how bad did Houston tank its season?  Starting out 2-0 and then losing 13 straight?  When they were a legit Super Bowl contender?  I just don't get it.  Titans 23, Texans 13

Carolina at Atlanta--The Falcons are right there with the Texans as almighty tankers, when last season they were the 1-seed and came damn close to the Super Bowl.  And here they are in a spoiler role, and I have this weird feeling they will indeed spoil the Panthers' division title aspirations.  Falcons 21, Panthers 18

Cleveland at Pittsburgh--Pittsburgh began the season 0-4 and here they sit with an outside shot at the postseason, on the sideline trying to trip up the Dolphins, Chargers and Ravens.  Steelers 24, Browns 16

Washington at NY Giants--Does anyone else think that Kirk Cousins could someday be on par with Brady, Brees and Rodgers?  And RG3 could someday be on par with Rex Grossman?  Oh and if you're keeping score at home, this is matchup #2 that means nothing.  Redskins 38, Giants 24

Jacksonville at Indianapolis--Any game featuring the Jags makes me sleepy.  Colts 28, Jags 13

Detroit at Minnesota--#3!  Jim Schwartz could be the first coach fired, so in reality there is some intrigue to this game.  Vikings 30, Lions 27

Baltimore at Cincinnati--The Bengals have already clinched the division but they want to start their postseason with momentum and get a decent seed.  The Ravens have a shot at a wild card after winning it all last season, but Cincy is 7-0 at home.  Bengals 20, Ravens 16

San Francisco at Arizona--You wanna feel bad for a team?  Arizona could be 11-5 and miss the playoffs.  That's how much more superior the NFC is over the AFC and the NFC West is over everyone else.  Didn't see that coming.  Cards 23, Niners 20

Kansas City at San Diego--The Chiefs were 2-14 last season, but began this year 9-0 with new coach Andy Reid at the helm.  The Chargers were dead in the water a few weeks ago, but here they are on the verge of grabbing the 6-seed.  Chargers 38, Chiefs 31

St. Louis at Seattle--If the Seahawks lose back to back home games to close out the season, then I really have no idea how the playoffs shake out.  I may not have an idea anyway, but still.  And no, I don't think it will happen.  Side note:  how good are the defenses in that division?  Yikes.  Seahawks 20, Rams 10

Buffalo at New England--Buffalo will go up 17-0 early in the second quarter.  The Pats will cut it to 17-7 right before halftime.  The Pats will win 35-17.  Isn't that how every Bills/Pats game goes?  Patriots 35, Bills 17

Green Bay at Chicago--Aaron Rodgers comes back just in time to save the Packers' season, against the team he got hurt against.  Trestman has to deal with the Cutler/McCown questions until September or longer.   Packers 34, Bears 30

Denver at Oakland--Part of me wants to pick Oakland, because they have shown flashes of being decent this year.  But part of me is much smarter than that.  Broncos 38, Raiders 17

Tampa Bay at New Orleans--Who gets fired first, Schiano or Schwartz?  Or Ryan?  Or Shanny?  Black Monday will not be a slow news day.  Saints 29, Bucs 16

Philadelphia at Dallas--The last game of the 2013 regular season is for the NFC East division.  But Kyle Orton vs. Nick Foles?  Tell me you saw that coming.  Eagles 40, Cowboys 28

NFL Picks: Week 16

Last week: 9-7
Season record: 140-72

Damn, how the hell did it get to be Week 16 in the blink of an eye?  Yet here we are, talking playoff scenarios and draft pick order.  I'm a Giants fan, so I had to throw in that last part.  I mean, what else do we have when we've had an abysmal season?  Oh yeah, we had the Packers with that epic comeback against the Cowboys, with Romo throwing a critical interception or two late in the game.  It's also looking like snow in a few places again, maybe making for some awesome slipping and sliding like two weeks ago.  Okay, with that, here are the picks....

Miami at Buffalo--The Dolphins truly have something to play for, but I'm sorry, I don't think they can win in Buffalo in December no matter what the records of the two teams are.  Bills 20, Dolphins 16

New Orleans at Carolina--It's safe to say that this game is for maybe not all the marbles, but for a large handful of marbles.  Panthers 23, Saints 20

Dallas at Washington--If you are a Dallas fan, you have every right to be afraid of Kirk Cousins.  I mean, the Giants have Curtis Painter behind Eli Manning.  I'm extremely jealous.  Redskins 34, Cowboys 31

Tampa Bay at St. Louis--Greg Schiano against Jeff Fisher.  I put the over/under of player and/or coach ejections at 6.  And the times the word "chippy" will be uttered by the announcers has an over/under of 27.  We're talking chippy and chippier here.  Rams 20, Bucs 14

Cleveland at NY Jets--The Jets are a remarkable 5-2 at home and the Browns are 1-5 away.  I know this season is upside down but sometimes you gotta play the numbers.  Jets 23, Browns 17

Indianapolis at Kansas City--This actually may be one of the better games Sunday.  Will Jamaal Charles top last week's epic fantasy performance?  Probably not, but he will carry some teams to a fantasy title.  Chiefs 35, Colts 27

Minnesota at Cincinnati--Yeah, so the Vikings are 0-6 on the road and the Bengals are 6-0 at home.  A monkey can pick this one.  Bengals 27, Vikings 10

Denver at Houston--The Texans have not won a game since mid-September.  How does a team on the verge of greatness fall so far in one season?  Broncos 42, Texans 17

Tennessee at Jacksonville--Wake me up when it's over.  Titans 22, Jags 20

Arizona at Seattle--Cards fans, you can't be happy with the schedule makers.  You are on the verge of grabbing a wild card spot while playing in an incredibly tough division, and you have to go to Seattle in Week 16 and host the Niners in Week 17.  The football gods toy with you, and then they kick you in the nuts.  Seahawks 31, Cards 13

NY Giants at Detroit--Don't be surprised if this one is more competitive than you think, because the Giants have this way of mystifying we fans.  Then again, the snakes have bit them so much this year that you have to believe it'll continue.  Lions 35, Giants 17

New England at Baltimore--The Pats struggle just a bit on the road, as they have a 3-4 record away from Foxboro.  The Ravens are 6-1 in Baltimore.  Yes it's wacky 2013, but numbers have a way of telling the truth much of the time.  And Joe Flacco might just be leading his team to a division title or at least a wild card spot.  Oh lord, please don't subject us to another Harbaugh Bowl.  Ravens 30, Patriots 27

Pittsburgh at Green Bay--Get ready for an old fashioned snow bowl between two of the league's most storied franchises--with both having storybook mediocre seasons.  Packers 19, Steelers 16

Oakland at San Diego--The over/under for Andrew Siciliano saying "SON-Diego" is four.  I love Red Zone and dude is really good at his job, but sometimes he tries too hard to be funny or dramatic.  Chargers 31, Raiders 23

Chicago at Philadelphia--The flexing NBC crew picked a beauty for the Sunday night game.  Now I wish we could flex out of Carrie Underwood and Al Michaels, as well as that stupid way they introduce the starting lineups.  "Mikey's Crystal Ball, THE U".  Eagles 31, Bears 24

Atlanta at San Francisco--And then you have Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden with major flex envy, as they get to call a 4-10 team visiting a 10-4 playoff bound team.  Niners 38, Falcons 17

  

NFL Picks: Week 15

Last week: 15-1
Last night: 0-1
Season record: 131-66

Wow.  Did anyone see that coming last night?  Way to shake up the playoff race, Chargers and Broncos.  But really, in 2013, it seems like anything is possible.  Upside down is right side up and the NFC East, NFC North and AFC North are all extremely mediocre.  So after going 15-1 last week it would figure that on Thursday Night Football, I match last week's loss total.  So let's try and match the win total of last week now.  Here we go....

New England at Miami--Truth be told, the Patriots are 7-0 at home and just 3-3 on the road, but now that they have the #1 seed in their sights, don't think the Hoodie and the Brady won't will their way to wins like they did against the Browns last week.  Patriots 31, Dolphins 24

Buffalo at Jacksonville--This is the kind of game the Jags are ripe to lose now that they have a few wins, including three straight.  But I think the Bills are slowly unraveling.  Jags 23, Bills 20

Houston at Indianapolis--The mighty have fallen through the floor and through the basement and halfway to China.  Colts 27, Texans 10

Philadelphia at Minnesota--Of course this one also reeks of upset, considering how the Vikes played the last few weeks--tying Green Bay on the road, taking the Bears deep into OT before winning, and then playing one of the most entertaining games ever at Baltimore but barely losing by 3.  The Eagles are rolling but they are due to stumble.  Or not.  Eagles 28, Vikings 25

Seattle at NY Giants--My Giants are a complete and utter mess.  And there is just no way I can see them beating a Super Bowl caliber team right now.  Seahawks 34, Giants 10

San Francisco at Tampa Bay--Get ready for Schiano to pull out his bag of tricks like he did against Seattle.  Then get ready for the Niners to not fall for any of it.  Niners 26, Bucs 17

Chicago at Cleveland--In all honestly, just flip a coin.  These two teams are just near impossible to predict from week to week.  Browns 20, Bears 16

Washington at Atlanta--It sure is getting ugly in DC, isn't it?  And I'm not talking about Congress.  I really feel bad for Shanahan, who is maybe the lamest of ducks right now.  Falcons 27, Redskins 17

NY Jets at Carolina--Uh oh.  The Panthers are back home and pissed about that ass-whooping in the Superdome. Poor Rex.  Poor Geno (or Simms or whatever butt fumbler is under center).  Panthers 20, Jets 6

Kansas City at Oakland--I so wanna pick the Raiders.  But the Chiefs need this game even more now that the Broncos lost last night.  And I don't think they blow it.  Chiefs 27, Raiders 20

Arizona at Tennessee--The Cards do not suck anymore, begging the question of whether or not Bruce Arians, who also coached the Colts into the playoffs last year while Chuck Pagano was recovering from cancer treatments, is one of the greatest coaching stories in the NFL right now.  Cards 19, Titans 17

Green Bay at Dallas--It's amazing to think, but I would have picked the Pack if Rodgers was back at QB.  He's not, so I won't.  Cowboys 34, Packers 27

New Orleans at St. Louis--I was all excited that there were five games in the late afternoon time slot, but then had my balloon burst when I saw which five games they were.  Yawn. And don't be surprised if the Saints have a letdown after last week's huge win against Carolina.  Rams 23, Saints 20

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh--Don't look at the records.  As long as Mike Tomlin doesn't trip anyone on the sidelines, he'll figure out a way to beat his division leading division rivals on Sunday night.  Steelers 16, Bengals 13

Baltimore at Detroit--Two 7-6 teams fighting for a shot at the postseason.  But facts are facts, and the Ravens are dreadful (1-5) away from home.  Lions 30, Ravens 27




  

NFL Thursday Night Football Week 15 pick

Last week: 15-1
Season record: 131-65

Yeah, that's right.  In a wacky season, I went 15-1 last weekend.  I can't explain why or how, but I'm sure at least some of it was dumb luck.  Or maybe I just know what I'm doing more than I thought I did.  Hopefully I won't make too much of a splat when coming back down to earth in Week 15! 

San Diego at Denver--I think it's safe to say it will be cold in Denver tonight, and it's hard to imagine the warm weather Chargers coming in to Mile High (or whatever that stadium is called now) and stopping that offensive juggernaut.  Of course, you might say Peyton Manning has cold weather issues as well, but the bottom line is that Denver is home, they are too good, and they will roll over the Lightning Bolts.  Broncos 41, Chargers 28

NFL Picks: Week 14

Last night: 1-0
Season record: 117-64

No more bye weeks!  That means 14 games on Sunday.  What could be better? 

Oakland at NY Jets--While the Raiders have been inconsistent this year, they still can't compare to the Jekyll & Hyde routine of the Jets.  Holy crap.  In a 15 day span recently, the Jets beat the Patriots and Saints, sandwiched around a 49-9 ass whooping at the hands of the Bengals.  Before that stretch, they gave the Steelers their first win.  Then these last few weeks they lost by a combined 79-20 to the Bills, Ravens and Dolphins.  So to follow this logically.....Jets 23, Raiders 17

Indianapolis at Cincinnati--I get the impression the Bengals aren't getting the respect they deserve.  Bengals 20, Colts 16

Detroit at Philadelphia--I hate the Eagles, so what I'm about to say is hypothetical.  If I rooted for that team, I'd be pissed that they are able to suddenly look like a playoff team when they were just mailing it in for the first half of the season.  Eagles 34, Lions 31

Miami at Pittsburgh--Mike Wallace returns to Pittsburgh, but, honestly, does anyone care?  Steelers 12, Dolphins 10

Cleveland at New England--The Hoodie and The Brady smell blood, everyone.  Lock up your Browns.  Patriots 28, Browns 13

Kansas City at Washington--At some point the Chiefs need to win another game if we're to take them seriously.  Chiefs 24, Redskins 21

Minnesota at Baltimore--Wouldn't it be fun to have both purple teams wear their home uniforms?  Maybe then whichever Minnesota QB plays would throw to the correct team.  Ravens 27, Vikings 17

Atlanta at Green Bay--This was the Sunday night game but got flexed out.  How the mighty have fallen.  Packers 23, Falcons 20

Buffalo at Tampa Bay--Do you think the guys who have to call this game for CBS saw who they were working and went, "Come on, MAN?"  I know I would.  Bucs 31, Bills 27

Tennessee at Denver--While Eli's Giants suck in the red zone, Peyton's Broncos (and before that, his Colts) suck in the big game zone.  Please remember you read that here.  Oh, it's common knowledge?  Oh, okay.  Broncos 29, Titans 16

St. Louis at Arizona--Blech.  Cards 16, Rams 14

NY Giants at San Diego--I feel like when these teams meet every four years, Philip Rivers has to try and prove to the Giants that the 2004 draft day trade was a mistake.  Chargers 31, Giants 27

Seattle at San Francisco--Don't think the Niners don't remember that 29-3 Week 2 drubbing in Seattle.  Niners 20, Seahawks 17

Carolina at New Orleans--This game and the rematch in two weeks will likely determine who wins the NFC South.  Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth were practically salivating over the fact that they dodged the Bills/Bucs game for this one.  Saints 28, Panthers 21

Dallas at Chicago--Follow the bouncing ball as it gets stuck in the crappy Soldier Field turf.  Bears 24, Cowboys 23

NFL Thursday Night Pick: Week 14

Last week: 3-0
Season record: 116-64

So last week the Thanksgiving holiday took its toll on my routine, so to speak.  Maybe it was too much turkey, maybe it was the fact that I took last Friday off, maybe it was the fact that the games were so hard to pick that I just bowed out subconsciously.  Okay, I just forgot!  So there were no picks last week beyond Thanksgiving day.  I could tell you how I thought the games would play out.  I could just give myself losses on all of the Sunday and Monday games.  But since this is my own blog that I do just for fun, I'll just not count those games in my standings.  And so, with that, here is my pick for tonight's game:

Houston at Jacksonville--I don't know what happened to the Texans, but holy crap, ten straight losses?  These guys were almost in the Super Bowl last season.  I don't know what happened to the Jags, but holy crap, three out of four wins after starting the season 0-8?  Still, I give to you, the Toilet Bowl.  Jags 27, Texans 24