NFL Picks: Week 17

Last week: 9-7
Season record: 142-98

Well the regular season is coming crashing to a close, which is good for all of us who are tired of playoff scenarios. But it's not good if you love football, and especially with the uncertainty hanging over the 2011 season. Anyway, here are the Week 17 prognostications....

Carolina at Atlanta--The Falcons are mostly lethal at home and here they get to beat up on their little brother division rival. Look away from the TV, folks. Falcons 31, Panthers 10

Cincinnati at Baltimore--Do you get the feeling Carson Palmer was auditioning for his next job last week? Ravens 20, Bengals 16

Pittsburgh at Cleveland--Do you get the feeling Eric Mangini is auditioning for his next job this week? Steelers 30, Browns 20

Minnesota at Detroit--The Vikings have a brighter future because of two people--Leslie Frazier (assuming the ownership does the right thing), and Joe Webb. Vikings 21, Lions 17

Chicago at Green Bay--If the Falcons win, and you can't possibly argue that they won't, the Bears will be locked in to the 2 seed. But they have a chance here to knock the Packers out of the postseason party, and they have to want to do that. Right? But they won't. Packers 24, Bears 20

Jacksonville at Houston--The Texans' defense makes me scratch my head. I know Mario Williams is on IR, but you have Brian Cushing and Amobi Okoye, and yet you can't seem to tackle anyone. Heads are gonna roll. Jaguars 27, Texans 20

Tennessee at Indianapolis--This is probably Jeff Fisher's last game as HC of the Titans. That's a shame, but wouldn't it be funny if he beat Indy going away? Colts 34, Titans 17

Oakland at Kansas City--The Chiefs have clinched the AFC West but can move up to the 3-seed. Pick your poison, the Ravens or Jets. Yikes. Chiefs 28, Raiders 14

Miami at New England--The Dolphins are world beaters away from home (6-1), but the Pats are not likely to take their foot off the gas. Patriots 27, Dolphins 13

Tampa Bay at New Orleans--The Bucs have an outside shot at making the playoffs, if the Giants and Packers both lose and they win. The Saints are already the 5 seed. Hmmm. Bucs 23, Saints 20

Buffalo at NY Jets--The Jets get a playoff tune-up, and you know their fans expect them to do it right. Jets 19, Bills 16

Dallas at Philadelphia--The Eagles are locked in to the 3-seed in the NFC, but they sometimes struggle against Dallas, even when Dallas isn't good. Still....Eagles 31, Cowboys 26

NY Giants at Washington--The Giants, no matter how bad they look at times, just seem to have the Skins' number. Giants 23, Redskins 20

San Diego at Denver--How the mighty have fallen. Broncos 27, Chargers 20

Arizona at San Francisco--Blech. Cardinals 16, Niners 13

St. Louis at Seattle--This is the Sunday night game and the regular season finale. And it's blasphemous that the 6-9 Seahawks can win the division and the 4-seed in the NFC with a win. But there it is. Then again, the Rams might have something to say about that. Rams 24, Seahawks 21

Happy New Year everyone!

NFL Picks: Week 16

Last week: 9-7
Season record: 133-91

So I thought I'd give you the Week 16 predictions in full since tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas everyone!

Thurday, Carolina at Pittsburgh--Wow, you think the NFL Network asked if they could have this choice back? Steelers 23, Panthers 0

Saturday, Dallas at Arizona--Merry Freaking Christmas, NFL fans. Another game equivalent to a lump of coal, but at least it's football on Christmas day. Cowboys 27, Cardinals 17

New England at Buffalo--You mean this one wasn't an option for Christmas? Then again, the Bills usually play the Pats well. Not this time. Patriots 38, Bills 16

NY Jets at Chicago--This is not easy, but it appears the Jets need it more. Jets 13, Bears 9

Baltimore at Cleveland--Has it really been 15 years since Art Modell moved the Browns to Baltimore? Ravens 20, Browns 17

Washington at Jacksonville--This time, Rex is going to have 4 interceptions instead of 4 TDs. Jaguars 21, Redskins 14

Tennessee at Kansas City--Hang on to your hats, Chiefs fans. You might get that elusive playoff berth this year. Chiefs 22, Titans 17

Detroit at Miami--The Dolphins are 6-1 on the road, 1-6 at home. Hmmm. Lions 17, Dolphins 16

Minnesota at Philadelphia--After the Bears scored 40 on the Vikes in the cold of Minnesota, I'm afraid of what Michael Vick might do to them. Eagles 45, Vikings 14

San Francisco at St. Louis--Please, please, Steve Spanguolo. Don't let the 5-9 Niners have any more ridiculous postseason aspirations. Rams 20, Niners 17

Seattle at Tampa Bay--The Bucs will prove why the Seahawks also should not have ridiculous playoff aspirations. Bucs 24, Seahawks 14

Houston at Denver--The underachieving Texans should be able to go into Denver and beat the just plain awful Broncos. Texans 34, Broncos 20

Indianapolis at Oakland--When I heard the Colts could win out and win the division, I was like, "Well, duh!" Colts 27, Raiders 23

NY Giants at Green Bay--The colors of blue and green will be trumped by the red on Tom Coughlin's nose. Giants 24, Packers 23

San Diego at Cincinnati--The Chargers are fighting for a playoff spot, the Bengals are fighting for....well, wait, remind me of what they're playing for. Oh yeah, a high draft pick and coach Marvin Lewis' job. Chargers 31, Bengals 13

New Orleans at Atlanta--Once and for all, we get to see who the real Saints are and who the real Falcons are. Saints 27, Falcons 24

NFL Picks: Week 15

Last week: 11-5
Season record: 125-84 (including last night)

New Orleans at Baltimore--Everyone is focused on Giants/Eagles, but this one is a beauty too. Saints 23, Ravens 20

Arizona at Carolina--Really? Who will be watching this? Probably Panthers' fans to see if they can finally win one, and Cards' fans to see if Jay Feely can beat the Panthers. Panthers 20, Cards 13

Cleveland at Cincinnati--Just when the Bengals thought they could give up on winning any games the rest of the way, in comes Eric Mangini. Bengals 13, Browns 10

Washington at Dallas--Jason Garrett's fiery team is going to just smack Mike Shanahan's team all over the field. Cowboys 26, Redskins 10

Jacksonville at Indianapolis--Do you think the Colts are pissed about that 59 yard field goal Josh Scobee nailed to beat them last time? I think they're just pissed that they're looking up at the Jags right now in the standings. Colts 27, Jags 24

Buffalo at Miami--The only reason for them to play this game is that I have the Dolphins' D in the fantasy playoffs. Dolphins 17, Bills 9

Philadelphia at NY Giants--The Giants are done being charitable to the Eagles. Giants 33, Eagles 27

Kansas City at St. Louis--Who would have thought the battle of Missouri would have major postseason implications? Rams 21, Chiefs 17

Detroit at Tampa Bay--The Bucs need this one more, so they will prevail. But an upset would not surprise me in the least. Bucs 22, Lions 17

Houston at Tennessee--There are two reasons and two reasons only to watch this one--Corland Finnegan and Andre Johnson. Texans 24, Titans 20

Atlanta at Seattle--This could be a knockout punch to the Seahawks' playoff hopes. Oh wait, they play in the NFC West. Falcons 30, Seahawks 14

Denver at Oakland--Have the Broncos begun rebuilding yet? Raiders 24, Broncos 10

NY Jets at Pittsburgh--This would have been a great game if the Jets' offense didn't go missing after Week 8. Well, it'll still be a good game. Steelers 16, Jets 14

Green Bay at New England--Poor Matt Flynn. Poor any defense trying to stop Tom Brady these days, no matter where, when or in what weather conditions. Patriots 31, Packers 13

Chicago at Minnesota--Bring your long johns! This is how mother nature intended for football to be played in December, on some frozen tundra. But man, I sure wouldn't want to be there. Bears 10, Vikings 9

NFL Picks: Week 14

Last week: 10-6
Season record: 114-79 (including last night)

Wow, just four more weeks of the regular season. This is when it gets exciting, though I keep thinking about the fact that we are likely looking at a lockout in 2011. So we all need to enjoy NFL football while we can.

New England at Chicago--Something's gotta give here. The Patriots are on fire, playing like the 2007 version of themselves. Meanwhile, the Bears' D has been playing inspired and the team keeps finding ways to win. Patriots 23, Bears 22

Cleveland at Buffalo--I'm really, really afraid to look at the weather forecast for this one. It seems like every time these two teams play each other, it's in December and you can't see the field. Bills 16, Browns 10

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh--The weather can't be much better here. To say the Bengals are struggling is like saying Cincinnati chili goes right through you. Steelers 35, Bengals 10

Oakland at Jacksonville--Amazingly, this game has a ton of playoff implications for BOTH teams. Jaguars 27, Raiders 24

Tampa Bay at Washington--The Redskins are thinking about golf, beaches, and pizzas. The Bucs are hoping they don't have to think about those things just yet. Bucs 17, Redskins 13

Green Bay at Detroit--It's hard to believe the Packers would miss the playoffs if the season ended today. But that's why the season is not 12 games. Packers 30, Lions 17

NY Giants at Minnesota--The Giants are 0-4 against Minnesota since 2005. This time, they aren't messing around. Giants 31, Vikings 23

Atlanta at Carolina--As hard as the Panthers try, they can't string four quarters together, and this week that's going to be very evident. Falcons 27, Panthers 6

St. Louis at New Orleans--This is a chance for the Rams to show they are playoff worthy. Incredibly, it's also a possible wild card round preview. Saints 24, Rams 16

Seattle at San Francisco--For the Niners, see Redskins, Washington above; meanwhile, Seattle is battling St. Louis for the NFC West title and a not-really-deserved 4-seed. Seahawks 20, Niners 10

Denver at Arizona--I didn't even look to see who was coaching the Broncos now, but their opponent this week is the baseball equivalent of soft-toss. Broncos 23, Cardinals 17

Miami at NY Jets--The Dolphins are practicing at the Giants' facility today and got to NY early so they could see "Lombardi." Too bad they still can't match the Jets' talent on the field. Jets 21, Dolphins 14

Kansas City at San Diego--If the Chiefs want to show us they've grown up, they will end the Chargers' season on Sunday. I don't think they are grown up enough yet. Chargers 27, Chiefs 20

Philadelphia at Dallas--The difference between the Cowboys in October and the Cowboys now is that they have gone from looking like the Bengals to looking like the Patriots. However, the Eagles just need this game more. Eagles 31, Cowboys 27

Baltimore at Houston--Maybe not billing this as the game of the year will work out better this week for Monday Night Football. Texans 20, Ravens 19

NFL Picks: Thursday Night Edition

Last week: 10-6
Season record: 113-79

I'm not sure who plans these Thursday night games, but it's too bad that the one tonight is now looking like a BO-ring one. But brace yourselves....next week it's the Niners and Chargers, and the following week it's the Panthers and Steelers. Damn, now that's football! I'm joking, of course. Still, with a possible lockout looming, we have to appreciate every game.

Indianapolis at Tennessee--Yeah, we even have to appreciate this one. America gets to watch Peyton Manning either exact revenge on his own demons or get pick-sixed a couple times again. They also get to see how far the mighty Titans have fallen in the past month. Colts 24, Titans 13

NFL Picks: Week 13

Last week: 10-6
Season record: 104-73 (including last night)

New Orleans at Cincinnati--How bad are the Bengals? Worse after the Saints come to town. Saints 28, Bengals 13

Chicago at Detroit--Sometimes the Bears look awesome, sometimes they look like the Bengals (though the latter is far less frequent). This week, I'm taking a flyer on the upstart Lions in Detroit. Lions 23, Bears 20

San Francisco at Green Bay--Sometimes the Niners look, aw nevermind. Packers 24, Niners 10

Denver at Kansas City--All anyone remembers is that finger-pointing thing Todd Haley did at Josh McDaniels when the Broncs ran the score up in Denver. Sunday, it's payback time, and Haley has the weapons in Dwayne Bowe and Jamaal Charles to get it done. Chiefs 51, Broncos 17

Cleveland at Miami--How did the Browns draw all three Florida teams in one season? Well, they're about to be 0-3 against those teams. Dolphins 20, Browns 17

Buffalo at Minnesota--Can anyone get a read on this one? The Bills were a Stevie Johnson dropped bomb away from beating the Steelers last week, and the Vikes were inspired under Leslie Frazier. At least there will be no "Fire Chilly" chants Sunday. Vikings 30, Bills 20

Washington at NY Giants--Donovan McNabb makes his return to the Meadowlands in a different uniform. This time, his team won't get it done. Giants 27, Redskins 20

Atlanta at Tampa Bay--What happens in the NFL this year when everyone anoints one team as the best? Yep, they lay an egg. And that's what Matt Ryan's Falcons are gonna do Sunday. Bucs 26, Falcons 17

Jacksonville at Tennessee--I still have no idea how that Houston defense stuffed Chris Johnson for like five yards last week. Not this time. Titans 27, Jaguars 24

Oakland at San Diego--How hot are the Chargers? Yikes. Chargers 33, Raiders 10

St. Louis at Arizona--How bad are the Cards? Yikes. Rams 28, Cardinals 17

Dallas at Indianapolis--The Cowboys have had 10 days to rest and think about a game that got away on Turkey Day. The Colts have had 7 days to think about that beatdown they took at home against San Diego. Well, I just feel bad for the Cowboys' defense. Colts 38, Cowboys 24

Carolina at Seattle--Am I dreaming, or are the Rams and Seahawks tied for first with a losing record? Yes, and who knows what would happen if the Panthers were in this division. Seahawks 24, Panthers 21

Pittsburgh at Baltimore--Whenever I think of these two teams playing in cold weather, I just think about how much it must hurt to hit that hard. Steelers 17, Ravens 16

NY Jets at New England--One of the best games of the week and of the year. Two 9-2 teams square off for AFC supremacy. This is why we can't not have football next year. Patriots 30, Jets 27

NBA: Miami at Cleveland

LeBron returns to the land of boos. Well, it's going to be a land of boos for this dude. And even better that Miami comes to town with an 11-8 record, 3.5 games back of Orlando in their division. They are also the 5-seed in the Eastern conference. The James-less Cavs, who have far less talent than the Heat, are 7-10 and currently sit as the 8-seed in the conference. If the Cavs were able to put a couple of win streaks together, it's feasible for them to move up in this mediocre conference to the 5-seed, with Miami at 4, and you know what that would mean. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Tonight is LeBron's first trip to Cleveland as a villain in another uniform. There is going to be absolute mayhem in Cleveland and this is one night that I wish I still lived there, even though I moved away right after LeBron was drafted by the Cavs. So who wins tonight? Come on, is there really any doubt? Cavs 93, Heat 91, as LeBron misses a 3-pointer at the buzzer.

NFL Picks: Thursday Night Edition

Last Week: 10-6 (thought I forgot to post my picks)
Season Record: 103-73

Houston at Philadelphia--Does anyone think Dimitri Patterson is afraid of having to face Sugar Ray Andre Johnson this week? I mean, aside from the fact that he's the best receiver in the game? Probably not, because the Eagles fear no one. And they shouldn't fear a team from the suddenly mediocre AFC South. Eagles 37, Texans 20