Can you smell it in the air? Well, maybe not but there is something about football season if you are a fan--the offseason is long and tedious, filled with other sports and sporting events that are simply placeholders for the main event, and the one we Americans care more about than any other. Football is finally here. And with that, I bring you another year of game predictions.
The first week or two are usually tricky until you get a feel for teams that are way improved, which are basically the same and which are far worse than a year ago. So much of this is throwing spaghetti against the wall. Okay, okay....let's get to it!
Green Bay at Seattle--This is tonight's opener and everyone is pumped, not just because of football. Everyone is pumped because this is actually a decent matchup--Seattle's D against Green Bay's O. Of course, we saw how that turned out in the Super Bowl seven months ago. I kind of feel bad for the Packers to start this way, but if they have any hope of winning it all, they have to be able to beat these guys. It just won't happen tonight. Seahawks 27, Packers 16
Washington at Houston--Two bottom dwellers from a year ago that can't possibly be that bad again. Texans 26, Redskins 23
Tennessee at Kansas City--Andy Reid had the Chiefs flying high last year until they ran into the Broncos and then flamed out miserably in the playoffs to Indy. The Titans are supposedly much improved but I need to see it for myself. Chiefs 20, Titans 14
New England at Miami--Miami always has a solid pass D, but for whatever reason Brady tends to carve them up in South Beach. I don't have the exact stats, but I saw them this morning on The Huddle when deciding if I should start Brady or Russell Wilson this week. Patriots 30, Dolphins 20
Oakland at NY Jets--I am a Giants fan who grew up in New York, and I have many good friends who are Jets fans. I could not live with myself if I was as miserable as they are every year. Raiders 19, Jets 16
Jacksonville at Philadelphia--The Eagles are another sexy pick to win it all. There is nothing sexy about the Eagles. They and their fans are the most annoying group of people on the face of the earth. So of course they will win the division. Eagles 41, Jaguars 10
Cleveland at Pittsburgh--Man, how I wish the Browns could break through one of these years. On the plus side, LeBron is back and the Cavs appear to be the favorite to win it all. Steelers 27, Browns 17
Minnesota at St. Louis--I can already tell that the C-team for Fox is going to call this one, whoever that may be. Rams 16, Vikings 14
Buffalo at Chicago--The Bears are another one of those sexy picks, whatever that means. At least the Bears' fans are more tolerable than the Eagles'. Bears 38, Bills 20
Cincinnati at Baltimore--Holy crap there are a lot of early games Sunday. Red zone bliss, baby! This one is so hard to predict, every year. Will the Bengals continue their regular season dominance? Will the Ravens rebound from a Super Bowl hangover in 2013? Ravens 24, Bengals 21
New Orleans at Atlanta--Everyone's on the Saints. Again. Atlanta shit the bed last year but I wouldn't count on that being the norm, not with that group of receivers. Falcons 30, Saints 27
Carolina at Tampa Bay--Don't blame me if I switch over to the Paint Drying Network. Seriously, two games at 3:30 and this is one of them? Roger Goodell can bite me. Bucs 17, Panthers 16
San Francisco at Dallas--I can't wait to watch Jerry Jones and Jason Garrett to both have that constipated look on their faces when they feel this game slipping away. Niners 27, Cowboys 24
Indianapolis at Denver--Wow, what a killer matchup. Sunday night always has better games than Monday night, you just have to mute the sound for the inevitable blond bimbo flavor of the month of country music recycled Joan Jett theme song. And maybe mute Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth, but it should be a good game. Broncos 37, Colts 30
NY Giants at Detroit--The Giants went 5-0 in the preseason no thanks in part to their first team offense, which had like five first downs total in the five games. I have no expectations for my Giants this year, but they can't possibly start out 0-6 again, can they? Lions 34, Giants 23
San Diego at Arizona--Again we have a doubleheader of MNF, the second game featuring the Chargers, who play in this game every year the way the Lions play on Thanksgiving. Cards 22, Chargers 19
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