NFL Picks: Week 16

Last week: 9-7
Season record: 140-72

Damn, how the hell did it get to be Week 16 in the blink of an eye?  Yet here we are, talking playoff scenarios and draft pick order.  I'm a Giants fan, so I had to throw in that last part.  I mean, what else do we have when we've had an abysmal season?  Oh yeah, we had the Packers with that epic comeback against the Cowboys, with Romo throwing a critical interception or two late in the game.  It's also looking like snow in a few places again, maybe making for some awesome slipping and sliding like two weeks ago.  Okay, with that, here are the picks....

Miami at Buffalo--The Dolphins truly have something to play for, but I'm sorry, I don't think they can win in Buffalo in December no matter what the records of the two teams are.  Bills 20, Dolphins 16

New Orleans at Carolina--It's safe to say that this game is for maybe not all the marbles, but for a large handful of marbles.  Panthers 23, Saints 20

Dallas at Washington--If you are a Dallas fan, you have every right to be afraid of Kirk Cousins.  I mean, the Giants have Curtis Painter behind Eli Manning.  I'm extremely jealous.  Redskins 34, Cowboys 31

Tampa Bay at St. Louis--Greg Schiano against Jeff Fisher.  I put the over/under of player and/or coach ejections at 6.  And the times the word "chippy" will be uttered by the announcers has an over/under of 27.  We're talking chippy and chippier here.  Rams 20, Bucs 14

Cleveland at NY Jets--The Jets are a remarkable 5-2 at home and the Browns are 1-5 away.  I know this season is upside down but sometimes you gotta play the numbers.  Jets 23, Browns 17

Indianapolis at Kansas City--This actually may be one of the better games Sunday.  Will Jamaal Charles top last week's epic fantasy performance?  Probably not, but he will carry some teams to a fantasy title.  Chiefs 35, Colts 27

Minnesota at Cincinnati--Yeah, so the Vikings are 0-6 on the road and the Bengals are 6-0 at home.  A monkey can pick this one.  Bengals 27, Vikings 10

Denver at Houston--The Texans have not won a game since mid-September.  How does a team on the verge of greatness fall so far in one season?  Broncos 42, Texans 17

Tennessee at Jacksonville--Wake me up when it's over.  Titans 22, Jags 20

Arizona at Seattle--Cards fans, you can't be happy with the schedule makers.  You are on the verge of grabbing a wild card spot while playing in an incredibly tough division, and you have to go to Seattle in Week 16 and host the Niners in Week 17.  The football gods toy with you, and then they kick you in the nuts.  Seahawks 31, Cards 13

NY Giants at Detroit--Don't be surprised if this one is more competitive than you think, because the Giants have this way of mystifying we fans.  Then again, the snakes have bit them so much this year that you have to believe it'll continue.  Lions 35, Giants 17

New England at Baltimore--The Pats struggle just a bit on the road, as they have a 3-4 record away from Foxboro.  The Ravens are 6-1 in Baltimore.  Yes it's wacky 2013, but numbers have a way of telling the truth much of the time.  And Joe Flacco might just be leading his team to a division title or at least a wild card spot.  Oh lord, please don't subject us to another Harbaugh Bowl.  Ravens 30, Patriots 27

Pittsburgh at Green Bay--Get ready for an old fashioned snow bowl between two of the league's most storied franchises--with both having storybook mediocre seasons.  Packers 19, Steelers 16

Oakland at San Diego--The over/under for Andrew Siciliano saying "SON-Diego" is four.  I love Red Zone and dude is really good at his job, but sometimes he tries too hard to be funny or dramatic.  Chargers 31, Raiders 23

Chicago at Philadelphia--The flexing NBC crew picked a beauty for the Sunday night game.  Now I wish we could flex out of Carrie Underwood and Al Michaels, as well as that stupid way they introduce the starting lineups.  "Mikey's Crystal Ball, THE U".  Eagles 31, Bears 24

Atlanta at San Francisco--And then you have Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden with major flex envy, as they get to call a 4-10 team visiting a 10-4 playoff bound team.  Niners 38, Falcons 17