Ah, the first NFL Sunday is almost upon us. You can smell the pigskin in the air. You can smell barbecue grills firing up. You can smell the crap of your crappy teams before they even take the field. You know who you are, though you might say every team has a crap factor. Enjoy the games everyone....
Season record: 1-0
New England at Buffalo--For whatever crazy reason, the Bills play the Pats tough, especially at home. But let's face it--the Bills are starting EJ Manuel at QB and have a guy named Jeff Tuel backing him up. And I just can't go against Brady and Belichick in Week 1. Patriots 35, Bills 20
Tennessee at Pittsburgh--Does anyone remember Chris Johnson, you know, CJ2K? Do the Steelers even have to game plan for him anymore? Steelers 20, Titans 16
Atlanta at New Orleans--And so begins the comeback trail of head coach Sean Payton. I know everyone likes the Falcons and for good reason, but I like the Saints to reclaim this division with a solid 12-4 record, starting with this game here. Saints 38, Falcons 33
Tampa Bay at NY Jets--Fistfight alert! When you put Rex Ryan and Greg Schiano on the field together, you are risking one of those awkward handshake moments after the game. Bucs 16, Jets 10
Kansas City at Jacksonville--It's amazing to me that you put Andy Reid in charge and sign Alex Smith, and suddenly the Chiefs are a wild card team? Does the AFC suck that badly? Chiefs 20, Jaguars 17
Seattle at Carolina--Seattle is a trendy Super Bowl pick this year, and I already can't wait to see them play the Niners next week. But first they must travel to Charlotte (or wherever the hell the Panthers play) and deal with Cam Newton. Seahawks 23, Panthers 13
Cincinnati at Chicago--I feel for Bears fans, and Cubs fans. I really do. Every year they have their hopes up only to be squashed in craptastic fashion. Jay Cutler embodies that. And so it begins, new coach and all. Bengals 27, Bears 19
Miami at Cleveland--Finally Cleveland gets to avenge that awful Game 7 of the '97 World Series in which the Marlins broke Indians' fans hearts. Oh, say what? Wrong sport? Browns 26, Dolphins 23
Minnesota at Detroit--The Lions seem to be another trendy pick as they added Reggie Bush. But before you even hand off to that dude, you have to worry about spotting the Vikes two Adrian Peterson TDs early. It could happen. Lions 35, Vikings 31
Oakland at Indianapolis--Holy crap there are a lot of early games. I love that my Giants are playing at night so I can be in Red Zone bliss the whole afternoon. Oh, and Andrew Luck will be a Top 5 or maybe Top 3 QB this year. Colts 45, Raiders 10
Green Bay at San Francisco--I wanna pick my hometown team, I really do. But they are on the road against a Niners team that is becoming really easy to hate. Niners 27, Packers 24
Arizona at St. Louis--Okay, so that was cruel, Roger Goodell. You give us ten games early and then at 4:00 ET you give us a great game along with this abomination. Hey Goodell, you suck! Rams 19, Cards 16
NY Giants at Dallas--For all the talk about how bad Dallas' defense is, the Giants' secondary is a freaking mess. So is their red zone offense, which means David Wilson is going to have to break a few long ones. Cowboys 34, Giants 22
Philadelphia at Washington--This one should be a beauty. The return of RG3 and Chip Kelly brings Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy to DC. Redskins 31, Eagles 27
Houston at San Diego--I took Arian Foster with the second pick in my fantasy draft. Everyone thinks I'm stupid, but they won't when they see those typical Arian Foster numbers, nagging injuries and Ben Tate committee be damned. Texans 28, Chargers 17
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